I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
