Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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