I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
