it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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