I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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