so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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