had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
