i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
