how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
