I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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