look no pants
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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