I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
