that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
