Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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