Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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