Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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