So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
