The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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