that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
