is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
