I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize