Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
