He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
how drunk are you?
Several
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
