remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
