Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
