I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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