just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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