Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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