I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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