Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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