Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need to sanitize my soul.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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