Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
