im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
