You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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