I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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