So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
