ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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