Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
