K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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