spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM