just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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