Sry I called you an 8
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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