Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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