Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize