the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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