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He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
