So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
