idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
