I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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