The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize