we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
50% drunk capacity currently
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize