So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
