I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
