Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fuck appropriateness.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
