Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
