at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
