Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He? As in you personified your dick?
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