I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
