it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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