you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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